Going into this parenting thing, I was very determined to NOT raise a self-centered child.  I was not going to allow my children to believe or act as if the world revolved around them, or as if Mom, Dad or siblings existed to serve them.  Thus far, I think I have done a fairly consistent job in this area.  In being so diligent, however, I think I may have fallen into a ditch on the other side.

The world does not revolve around them, as they are not mini-gods.  However neither does the world revolve around me.  In ensuring that my children do not become self-centered, I may have created an environment that is me-centered.

‘No, I will not fill up your water for dinner when you are completely capable of doing so yourself and I have finally sat down for the first time in 3 hours.’

BUT:

‘Abigail, can you get me the wipes for your brother?’

So if they are not the center of the home, and I’m not the center of the home, who is the center of the home?  The culture of our home should be centered around Christ.  But what exactly does that mean?

Well, one thing that means is self-sacrifice and service to others should be the theme in our interactions.

I do not want the children to think that mom = maid, but I do want them to see that mom is willing to serve them in appropriate ways, so that they learn to serve each other.

That can be a tough balance.

Mrs. Duggar has been helpful in this regard.  I am trying to teach the kiddies that we put Jesus first, Others second and Yourself last.  That Jesus desires us to have a servant’s heart, and to think of our brothers and sisters before we think about ourselves. To fill up their water bottle before we fill up our own.  To take joy in the opportunity to selflessly help others.

So how do I do this without giving them a mixed message that mom exists to meet their every wish and desire?

I’m still working on that answer, but I suppose it involves selfishly serving, leading by example, while trusting Christ to do His work in their hearts.

 

Advertisements